What?

Ok. I have spent a lot of time trying to figure out what I want to “do” or where to serve in correlation to the Bridge and it seems like I have gotten nowhere. I was talking with a friend the other day and she asked the basic how thing were and what I was doing, and I explained to how we had not yet decided what I wanted to do. She responded with: is it really up to you to decide what or where God wants you? Her response made me think. Was it really up to me? Of course not it. all reality I should of learned that a month ago when with move back here, with more fear and uncertainty than I have had in a long time. When I moved I gave up so much control and allowed God to be in control. But recently I have been nervous and anxious to have that control back and that’s not where I want to be. I have been consumed by the desire to provide for myself while I am serving at the Bridge, that I have almost stopped serving my Creator. In the last week I have spent more time Job searching than reading the Word, more time on the phone or in email to companies than in prayer to the one who has the control over my situation. I have a job that pay decently and is flexible and that teaches me that God provides each and every day. I hate finances, I know God has it all under control but I like a little more security every once in a while like now would be great!! I have 850 in my checking account, 600 leaves tomorrow . Well off that tangent now.