It is funny when you expect everything to stay the same or go back to normal, knowing that it is and will be completely different. The kids got back this week and it was great to see their lives changed and the connections that they formed and all that. But in seeing all this I realize how distant I am. Even thought many know my name or can recognize my face I still feel as if I am a complete outsider or just a guest in this whole thing. They have bonds and stories and can relate, I have very little to offer. I am busy with work, kids ministry and attempting to afford my life. Frustrated in all of this not at them but I guess at me, maybe because I had the unrealistic idea that my feeling of loneliness last week would disappear when they all returned this week. But sadly it has increased...
But as I am told "It not a Big Deal" which is so many ways makes it worse how something that is not a big deal upset me so much.
"0 I will give thanks to the LORD because of his righteousness and will sing praise to the name of the LORD Most High."
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