Just Spinnin'

Ever had a day where you really just want to cry? Well I am having that week! I feel so displaced rather it is at my job that I despise and feel dis-valued at or at a meeting that I question why I am even there. My world is spinning and I just keep on going to each little thing only to gain no satisfaction. I know people go to work each day and hate there jobs, I know. But I usually don't I usually try to make the most of it and pray for something better. Maybe the realization that maybe this is it, maybe this is where I going to be has struck me and made me realize that it is and sometimes you can't make the best of it, you just can't. And when that happens whats next or what else? Most people would turn homeward or toward their social life for the connection that they need and seek, but for me that means something different, I am a"pastor or something like that's" wife I attend staff meetings for the sole purpose of what...I wish I knew, I am not on staff, my opinions and suggestions really don't matter, so I come for the food and stay for the conversation? but really inside I am frustrated and alone. Usually I hold my tongue and say little but sometimes I am stupid and speak. But when you feel unsupported and undermined by others it just happens sometimes. I mean I know my job and my place to go and do as asked and it is obviously not to make my own choices or suggest something different. Sad Face :( I know God provides and takes care of us, but right now I wish I could feel more of that and less of whatever this is.